Muddy brown blues

I am in deep, deep trouble. My nephew is getting married in less than 10 days and I don't have a single outfit ready. I had this beautiful turquoise saree that I thought I would wear. With lot of care I took it out from the closet and to my utter dismay saw that it sported the remnants of the meal I had when I wore it last. Ugly yellow stains just where the pleats were supposed to be. Stains that would n't go even after cleaning. I rushed to the dyer and was reassured by his kind words. " No worries madam, I will dye it a lush, vibrant wine colour. You will look like a blooming flower." Entertaining the thought of giving the gorgeous bride a stiff competition, I went to collect the saree only to find it a colour of muddy, dirty brown. I howled in anguish. Who wears brown to a colourful Indian wedding? I would look like a wilted, no, make that a dried flower in that. And to add serious injury to the insult, he had managed to tear some part of the beautiful zaree border. He just smiled and shrugged. " No worries madam, just darn it. Happens sometimes" The hunt for an expert darner was on .

The darner was what we call khadoos. He looked up and down the saree and then proceeded to give me the same look. I mean, why me? Was it my fault? Oh yeah. The stupid remnant of the last meal, remember? And casually named an exorbitant amount for the job. Why so much? "See how delicate the fabric is?My guy would be scared to touch it." May be he can do it without touching it? My hopeful query was answered by that same up and down look.

So I came back home and spent the next few days looking at the calender and biting my nails. And kept hearing what the others were wearing to the occasion.

When I got it back, I heaved a sigh of relief. One really couldn't see where the saree had torn. Well worth the money the guy charged me. There was a problem though. The saree was hopelessly crumpled. Fearing the up down look if I complained, I quietly left the shop. The hunt was on this time to find a guy to iron it.

The saree complete and ready, now I had to devote time to another pressing problem. Obviously the turquoise blouse would not work here. I needed a new one. After searching almost all across the western suburbs I finally found a perfect colour to suit this muddy brown. Triumphantly I came back home and basked in my mother's praises. Exact match! It will look awesome! See? I told you. Mothers know best.

With the glittering material under my arm, I went to my tailor this time. She was a fabulous designer. Surely she would be able to stitch a classy one that would take away the attention from the colour? I glided towards the shop and came to a grinding halt. The shop was locked and shuttered. Irate women were standing in front cribbing. It seemed she had completely disappeared from the face of earth. After several frantic phone calls, I finally managed to locate her. She promised she would definitely come back on time and deliver. But I was no longer so sure. Nothing seemed to have gone right ever since I started my quest for the perfect look for the wedding.

By the way, the tailor has come back. After apologising profusely she assured me that she would deliver on the 14th, the day we leave. Would she be able to deliver on time? May be our flight would be delayed by fog? It's winter time. My husband gave me a 'are you crazy' look. " In Mumbai?" I guess not.

So I am living on hope. I have full faith in another woman and feel she will not let me down. She knows how important weddings are in this country. So see you all at the wedding. And if any of you have some glittery shiny stuff to go with the muddy look please get them. May be the right accessories can save my day. Or else I can always walk proud resplendent in my brown earth mother look.

Play the wedding march folks... Here Comes The Maasi...