Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Hormone Years

"Why don't you tell me what to wear and what not to?"
"I thought you didn't want me to tell you all that. I thought you said I had to stop imposing my opinion on you."
"Yes, but my friends' moms tell them what not to shows they care about their daughters.
" OK, so let me tell you right now, the skirt you are wearing is too short."
" Will you stop telling me what to wear all the time?"

"Can I colour my hair?"
"Whatever for? You have beautiful hair"
"But I want streaks. And I want curls."
"Your hair is naturally beautiful now. Wait till you become a little older to experiment with colours."
"You never want me to have any individual style. Why do you have to be such a tyrant?"
"It's just that you have such beautiful hair. Colours and curlers will ruin your hair."
"So can I get a Lady Gaga wig instead? Red?
"Lady who?"
"Never mind, you would not recognize her if she left a comment on your blog anyway."

"Do you have to pick me up from school? I am old enough to come on my own. And please wear something a little more glamorous when you come? You look boring in jeans and T-shirt."
" I thought I looked pretty good in jeans and tees."
"You look old."
" I am not old."
"Mom, you are practically vintage."

" Stop telling me to study all the time."
"Well, I can't, your boards are starting in exactly 3 weeks."
"Why do I have to do well in my exam?"
"So you can get into a good college/school."
" I think you are just trying to get rid of me by sending me to a good college. Who wants to live in this house indefinitely anyway?"

"Will you have a problem if I have a Muslim or a Christian boyfriend?"
"I will have a problem if you have a boyfriend, period."
"Come on mom, some of my friends have boyfriends."
"You are only 15, too young to have a boyfriend."
"So when I am old enough to have one, will you object if he is not a Hindu?"
"No, as long as he is good and treats you with respect, I will have no problem."
"God, will you stop being so nice? How am I supposed to have a dramatic fight with you on this one if you never object to a boyfriend?"

"I washed my school uniform."
"That's very good. I am so glad you are acting like a responsible person and sharing the chores."
"Yeah, well, the i-pod was in the pocket and it got washed too. And now it's no longer working."
"What? Your i-pod? You didn't check the pockets?
"Err, actually it was dad's, I had borrowed it from him for a day."
"You washed your dad's i-pod? Do you know how cross he would be?"
"Can't you ask him to look at the bright side? The uniform looks almost brand new now."

"Can I pierce my ears?"
"You already have pierced ears."
"Can I have couple more piercings?"
"Two more? May be we can talk about it after your exams."
"You know, you are not too bad for a mom. In fact, you are more tolerant than a lot of moms I know." 
"Well thank you."
"Some of my friends are always complaining about how domineering their mothers are. I told them my mom is not as bad."
" Uh..thank you I guess."
" You are really open to suggestions and you do let me have my own say."
"Oh baby, I'm so glad you finally saw that."
" Yeah, well, so can I have a tattoo? A scorpion on my lower back would look awesome."

I bow down before all those survivor moms who successfully negotiated teenage years. I only have 4 more years to go with this one. By that time, the second one would be 13. With plenty of wine, chocolates and Yoga, I'm sure I can go through that one too.
And those women who are currently mothering those cute angelic kids, kids who make you say "awwww let me take a picture of you cutie-pie, cootchie-coo,.." well, to those women let me say, I hate you with gusto.


Nupur said...

ist :)

Nupur said...

OMG !!!

and what do you have to say to people like me Aparna? ;) jealous ? ;) hahaha

on a serious note..I always tend to think in future and realize that I'll most probably be a strict mom for my future kids and they'll surely not like me for obvious reasons..the kinds that you've mentioned :(

hopefully by that time may be there will be crash courses for teenage parenting..!!! :D

ZB said...

Rofwl post,though I didn't read fully coz of being on phone.will come back.but am sure its fun growing up kids.I am enjoying my daughter right now.Tc :)

Anonymous said...

A sweet...let me take a pic...err...I mean let me bookmark this post! He he

I am drunk with anxiety after reading please ignore the comment. Just reached the dressing opinion stage. Can't wait for the rest of it. Gulp!!!

Unknown said...

hehehe... awww... loads of chocolates to you!

To be or not to be .. said...

:)) .. Oh My God .. I couldn't stop laughing. I am sure all this mirth would make up for the tiring days. But let me tell you, your daughter definitely has a sense of humor !! lol again

Rama Ananth said...

Sounds very familiar to me. In fact it also reminds me of own teenage days. We all have the same problem, and it keeps coming back like a cycle.
I am sure they too would grow up to be responsible children and responsible parents.

Unknown said...

nice writing. showed to me by my wife........ she couldn't stop laughing.

Sandhya said...

I felt as if I was reading about my kids' dialogue!

You should have mentioned how they used to admire you when they were in first and second std. My kids used to do!

Now I am older than vintage for them!

Laughed heartily...when these things happen with others, we can enjoy!

Enjoyed the post, Aparna!

Sandhya said...

God, will you stop being so nice? How am I supposed to have a dramatic fight with you on this one if you never object to a boyfriend?" This line is too good...she is hilarious!

Ritu said...

Oooh takes me back to those days, first my stormy teens and then my children's

Anonymous said...

LOL! You have feisty young lady as your daughter :)

I am already shaking with fear:)

But Aparna, you shouldn't be hating us mothers with young kids, you should be eying us, with an evil laugh, and saying, 'You guys have no idea what is in store for you' ;)

Sujatha said...

I am so gonna use this as a crib sheet when my daughter hits that age!

Thommy said...

in a class of its own

R's Mom said...

Okie so you have succeeded! in scaring me...I am still about 11 years away from this stage...but I am definitely scared! See are you happy now?

Tomz said...

SO, the mother-daughter conflict period has started?

Deepa said...

Very well written. I liked the one about the Ipod the best! Maybe the one about the clothes was a close second :) Did all this really happen? I can see the same drama unfolding in my sister's home. Her daughter just entered her teens!

Unknown said...

Awww.... lovely read,,,
flashback...somethings never change!!

Smita said...


Good luck!!! and please don't hate fact after reading your post am bracing myself for the future.

walk2write said...

Cute! The teen years are a breeze compared to the 20-somethings. Yes, the drama goes on. Tee-hee!

Vivek S Patwardhan said...

Beautiful piece!

Thanks God we have been thru all this now. I relived some experiences!!


Aparna said...

Nupur, always 1st! Your day will come, just you wait.Unfortunately even then there will not be any crash courses available.

ZB, enjoy these initial years, they are priceless.

Jyothi your son and your daughter do not look like they would cause you any trouble.

Purnima, how would I survive without chocolates?

To be or not to be, thank you for thinking both my daughtdr and I are entertaining!

Rama, I too hope both of them would turn out fine.

G S Pillai said...

classic. especially the first exchange could've been right out of Catch 22

Nona said...

:D Can't help laughing!

I liked your politically correct statement about the boyfriend. "I will have a problem if you have a boyfriend, period."

Luckily, you have lots of options - chocolate, wine and yoga. :p

Nona said...

:D Can't help laughing!

I liked your politically correct statement about the boyfriend. "I will have a problem if you have a boyfriend, period."

Luckily, you have lots of options - chocolate, wine and yoga. :p

Deepanjan Ghosh said...

You washed your dad's iPod.....hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Too funny!!!

Ire said...

Shoot! Gosh being a mom is tough! :|

Benita Patnaik said...

I got to know of your blog through Mr. Patwardhan's and got attracted because you have the same back ground in your blog but I am writing here because I loved your piece as a work with which I could identify with and also because I have a teenage child who will go through all this!

Destiny's child... said...

Lol! I've had some of those conversations with my mom. The first one happens even now, sometimes! I am 22. ;)

Onkar said...

Quite hilarious, but brings out the difficulties in dealing with a teenager.

ani_aset said...

though it seems hillarious i can understand the headache its giving you :P

sangeeta said...


The Holy Lama said...

ROFL. Bravo, survivor mom. And wish me well as I step into this mom to teen terrain next year.

Bikram said...

he he he Indeed the Hormone YEARS :)
made me smile remembered the few conversations i had with my paretns .. especially the time when i wanted to get a hair cut ..
and then to have higlights in them ..

and YES DONT PICK ME UP FROM SCHOOL I can come on my own :) he he hehe

and pierce the ear too :)


Swatantra said...

I like your exprssion of honesty..

Danilo Sergio Pallar Lemos said...

I am accessing your blog and discovering that? very good, I'm always visiting, I am a Brazilian researcher who has devoted himself to education? Others

Tripthi Battapadi said...


I am in my last teen year!! *sniff..sob!

Lovely post. awesome blog!

Neena Sharma said...

Sound so familiar :)

Anuradha Shankar said...

reading this was hilarious,but I shudder to think what will happen in just a few years when my son enters this phase!

Aparna said...

Thank you everyone for commenting on the post. As these days I am trying really hard to stop logging on to the computer(to set an example for my daughter)it was impossible to reply to each and every comment. God bless you all.

Unknown said...

It's gorgeous post. I liked it.

Meera Sundararajan said...

That was really nice!!!! I have some more - " Please dont stand with me outside the house when I wait for the school bus"

" I hate you in a sari. Please dont wear one when you come to my school"

" Dont pick up fights with auto drivers and shop assistants. It is so embarrassing!"

But I am enjoying myself - despite all this! Hopefully I can undertand my 13 year old better than my mom understood me thirty years ago!

Laks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laks said...

Hi Aparna,
I find your writing style very engaging. Couldn't stop smiling over the instances you had mentioned here.. quite similar to those that i went through with my mom almost a decade ago. I guess its a relief for both the mother and the daughter once the teen ages are over :)
When you find time, I'd love to hear your views on my latest blog.

Pranavam Ravikumar said...

Lovely Post!

JJ said...

This is great. Being an 8th grade teacher I can tell your assessment of these years is right on.

With two young daughters I am not sure I can handle what lies ahead.

neeraj said...

Good stuff, Aparna! First timer on this blog, I had no idea a 'mother' was writing it, till I reached towards the bottom of the post. Very, very nice post ;)

Kavita Saharia said...

'Angelic kids'-do they really exist :) Looks like i have some real fun time ahead .

Pri said...

hahaha..all the very best to you!! :D

Toyin O. said...

Sounds like you have a fun daughter:) You sound like a great mum and I am sure you will breeze thru your Children's teenage years:)

ramblings said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vaidegi J said...

:) thoroughly enjoyed it! the only difference with my scenario is that they are boys. the eldest is going to be 17 and the younger one 13.5! and urggh...driving me nuts. should hang around here more often to get some tips and comfort i guess! :)

Blunt Edges said...

Hahaha...That's hilarious and cute at the same time :)

And now the important question, did the young lady finally get the tattoo?

Almostpundit said...

So easily relatable, I heard these words... in my family. Immensely enjoyable.

Alps said...

good one only mum N daughter cn have this luv N hate relationship my daughter is only 4 but looking forward for her teen tantrums tho lil scare as well.....

Abby said...

That's what's it's like every day with my older sister who is 14.

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