The Hormone Years

"Why don't you tell me what to wear and what not to?"
"I thought you didn't want me to tell you all that. I thought you said I had to stop imposing my opinion on you."
"Yes, but my friends' moms tell them what not to wear...it shows they care about their daughters.
" OK, so let me tell you right now, the skirt you are wearing is too short."
" Will you stop telling me what to wear all the time?"


"Can I colour my hair?"
"Whatever for? You have beautiful hair"
"But I want streaks. And I want curls."
"Your hair is naturally beautiful now. Wait till you become a little older to experiment with colours."
"You never want me to have any individual style. Why do you have to be such a tyrant?"
"It's just that you have such beautiful hair. Colours and curlers will ruin your hair."
"So can I get a Lady Gaga wig instead? Red?
"Lady who?"
"Never mind, you would not recognize her if she left a comment on your blog anyway."


"Do you have to pick me up from school? I am old enough to come on my own. And please wear something a little more glamorous when you come? You look boring in jeans and T-shirt."
" I thought I looked pretty good in jeans and tees."
"You look old."
" I am not old."
"Mom, you are practically vintage."


" Stop telling me to study all the time."
"Well, I can't, your boards are starting in exactly 3 weeks."
"Why do I have to do well in my exam?"
"So you can get into a good college/school."
" I think you are just trying to get rid of me by sending me to a good college. Who wants to live in this house indefinitely anyway?"


"Will you have a problem if I have a Muslim or a Christian boyfriend?"
"I will have a problem if you have a boyfriend, period."
"Come on mom, some of my friends have boyfriends."
"You are only 15, too young to have a boyfriend."
"So when I am old enough to have one, will you object if he is not a Hindu?"
"No, as long as he is good and treats you with respect, I will have no problem."
"God, will you stop being so nice? How am I supposed to have a dramatic fight with you on this one if you never object to a boyfriend?"


"I washed my school uniform."
"That's very good. I am so glad you are acting like a responsible person and sharing the chores."
"Yeah, well, the i-pod was in the pocket and it got washed too. And now it's no longer working."
"What? Your i-pod? You didn't check the pockets?
"Err, actually it was dad's, I had borrowed it from him for a day."
"You washed your dad's i-pod? Do you know how cross he would be?"
"Can't you ask him to look at the bright side? The uniform looks almost brand new now."


"Can I pierce my ears?"
"You already have pierced ears."
"Can I have couple more piercings?"
"Two more? May be we can talk about it after your exams."
"You know, you are not too bad for a mom. In fact, you are more tolerant than a lot of moms I know." 
"Well thank you."
"Some of my friends are always complaining about how domineering their mothers are. I told them my mom is not as bad."
" Uh..thank you I guess."
" You are really open to suggestions and you do let me have my own say."
"Oh baby, I'm so glad you finally saw that."
" Yeah, well, so can I have a tattoo? A scorpion on my lower back would look awesome."


I bow down before all those survivor moms who successfully negotiated teenage years. I only have 4 more years to go with this one. By that time, the second one would be 13. With plenty of wine, chocolates and Yoga, I'm sure I can go through that one too.
And those women who are currently mothering those cute angelic kids, kids who make you say "awwww let me take a picture of you cutie-pie, cootchie-coo,.." well, to those women let me say, I hate you with gusto.