Sunday, June 28, 2009

Heal My World

This entire week has been traumatic.


Last Tuesday my baby came down with a viral attack.


Generally she is up and active by eight in the morning, but that day, she appeared a bit slow. I thought she would be better in a couple of hours and left her alone. But as the day progressed, she grew more and more sluggish. I was getting worried and called up my husband. He just dismissed my worry and told me to wait till he came home. By the time he came, I was a complete wreck. I generally do not fall apart at such situations but this was different. I felt so helpless.


My husband, after looking her over, decided to wait till morning. He just told me to cheer up and I felt angry. How like an insensitive man. Here I was, sick with worry and he was telling me to have fun. I felt bitterness rise up my throat.


The whole night I was restless. I kept getting up to check on my baby. I would gently caress my fingers over her body. Try to figure out if she was getting better. But she was unresponsive as ever and seemed dead to the world. I knew this was something serious.


Next morning, my husband and I knew it was time to call in the experts. Bundling up, he gently lifted her and put her in the car. I wanted to come too but what could I do there except wait? My husband decided that I would be better off in the house. The old bitterness rose again and stayed in my throat this time.


It seemed nothing I could do would take away my anxiety. I went about doing my daily chores feeling listless. Then my husband called home with the shocker. Her memory had failed completely. Sensing my grief, he gently said " Don't worry, they are doing their best... she will get better and will be back home before you know it." At last some understanding. But I was too numb with emotions to appreciate his concern. Anger. Sorrow. Anxiety. Frustration. All seemed to boil inside. Why me? And why now when I had so many plans for her?


The next few days seemed to blend into each other. Apart from the daily progress reports from them, we could do nothing. Apparently it was a bad virus. I was devastated. I took such a good care of her. Never exposed her to any potential threats, then how could this happen?

I was also pained by the behaviour of everyone in the house. Nobody seemed as affected as me. I was the only one slowly dying inside.


Then the unthinkable happened. Michael Jackson died. And my husband came home with guests. He decided I needed some cheering. What could be better than some elaborate breakfast and and lunch? So here I was, making poori- sabzi and serving them early morning, when the doctors were tearing apart Michael's body and my baby was slowly being given a new lease of life.


Finally, this morning, I decided enough was enough. I had to leave my home. If I had waited even a few more hours to write, surely a dam would have burst inside me. So I am now here, at a cyber-cafe venting my feelings. My family is peacefully sleeping at home. After all what do they care if the PC is not at home? They do not blog after all.

My husband has promised me that my baby will come back soon. I have been told that she is getting formatted. She will get a new configuration. She is also getting some brand new software.
So till the time she is home I guess I will have to use this seedy cafe. I hope you all will be more understanding than my family. Please feel free to fill up my comment box with your get well messages. I desperately need some sympathy to heal my world.

And Rest In Peace Michael. You will be sorely missed.

53 comments:

Nona said...

My prayers with you and your baby. Let's hope she comes back home soon to mommy dearest with a facelift.

PS: I was wondering why you haven't blogged for a while!

sujata said...

what a terrible state of affairs! I was really wondering which baby? Shoot you got me this time..You were missed! Welcome back!

AnjuGandhi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AnjuGandhi said...

Aparnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
I hope your baby recovers fast and bounces back healthy and full of energy.
For a second i was anxious about ur baby and was formulating a proper reply to cheer u up and give you lots of motherly advice
but half way realises which baby you are talking about.
and then had a good laugh
even i feel my world has come to an and if something goes wrong with my similar baby

Sumandebray said...

For a moment I thought it was one of your children. But thatnk God it is not!
Well I do understand your situation. It was only a few months back that I lost my Laptop (her name was partner). But I lost her completely. One of the best of the species have left after giving me company for more than 3 years. I am still mourning her demise.
But wish you all the best and hope you get back your baby with more maturity and understanding.

BK Chowla said...

Don't worry,she will be back with improved software

Jyothi said...

Ha ha ....I was so worried...You have outdone yourself this time. I know exactly how you feel though. I have net connection problems here and the time that I can't login is like fish out of water....Wishing a speedy recovery to your baby....

Ajit Ray said...

Killer post! But I had guessed you were talking about the computer from the tone of your sms.. :)

PURN!MA said...

you had me worried in the first few lines so much that I'd to scroll down to the end of the article to make sure it was fiction...oh! it wasn't. Then I glanced through it as soon as possible, trying to drink in every word written w/o really reading it.

hehehehe I feel like a fool now. Too good though. and ya, hope your baby will soon be pepping up with energy given all that new make-up! :)

Cheers. You were missed!

ZiLliOnBiG said...

Whattttt!!!! I was like worried for you baby and in a moment you had me WTF!!!!!!!!

You are naughty and mischievous, grow up lady!!!

hehe, BTW i enjoyed it, dont worry, formatting would make your baby get rid of harmful viruses. Wish her a long life.:)))))

Priya said...

hahahahahha....oooppppsssss......seriously i am a bit more considerate than your family...i was looking for you all this while...so when your babay is back, i hope to see more of here imprints here...:D :D...grand job...:D

SJ said...

OMG!!!! OKay did not like this post at all- was SO scared till I read it was about the PC grrrr..... Anyways, as always damn you write good!!!

Ishita said...

It was a bad time at home. She kept saying,"When is the computer coming back? When is the computer coming back?" 24/7. Thank God this blasted thing has come back home. And they say that "Aaj kal ke bacche computer, TV, aur mobile ke bina nahin jee sakte..." Talk about addiction... She'll probably have a laptop by late summer, then God help us!

lala said...

hmm... and here i was taking the 'baby' as a baby... how can i be so silly? i hope your baby comes back safe... and about MJ, all we can say is RIP.

SJ said...

@Ishita,
hahahahahahha!!!!

Swatantra said...

Cute!! You are a good writer..

It is a damn good writing..

Gymnast said...

New to your blog , and hence didnt know how old your kids are...and hence, TOTALLY fooled.

Lol..very amusing.

R. Ramesh said...

baapre after sidney sheldon i read this post of yrs..scared my wits..ooofff

R. Ramesh said...

baapre after sidney sheldon i read this post of yrs..scared my wits..ooofff

Zeba Talkhani said...

This was MEAN!! I thought YOUR BABY!!! Now I feel like such a fool!! Now I understand your husband. . . Lol

Loved the post. Amazing.

P said...

i have a black HP pavilion and her name is 'blackie'(I knw...no pts for originality)! & I am gravely protective of her!
So I knw wat u r sayin! everytime the virus scan detects some 'non-biologic' (the transformer effect) pathogen... my heart races in concern!! :) :)

Sucharita Sarkar said...

You are one naughty blogger...scaring your readers like that. But yes, i guess a PC or a car is a very dear possession indeed, esp if one is a blogging or driving junkie...cheer up, your re-newed baby will be back to mama soon!

Jaadi said...

Amazing...me too like others realised half way thru..which baby you should be talking about. I can surely understand your feelings..coz my baby was hospitalized twice for a fortnight each time...and i had almost lost all interest in life.

Sakshi said...

I had read Ishita's post and then came over to read urs and was totally worried thinking that you both had a bad conversation again and she might be sick...arghhhhhhhhhhhhh...it's the PC!! well what can I say?? I know I will have sleepless nights if my laptop has a viral aatack and might even go under the blanket and not cook to make the husband fix it!! Wishing your baby a speedy recovery...darn u write too well!!!

eye-in-sty-in said...

:P:P:P:P:P

Aparna said...

Thank God my baby is well again people. The wait was unbearable.

Thanks Nona, this virus thing beat any mafia gang war hollow. Good to know someone noticed I was out of circulation.

Sujata,you too? But I gave you regular updates through text messages!

Anju, what can I say? It really felt like my baby was sick.Any motherly advice is always welcome.

Sumandebray, thanks a lot. My baby is back healthier and faster. The agony of wait was perhaps worth it.

BK Chawla, thank you sir. She is back with a bang.

Jyothi, thanks a bunch.

Ajit, damn, I shouldn't have sent you that sms.

Thanks Purnima, this was a case of facts being more painful than fiction. My baby is now more gorgeous with her new make up.

Aparna said...

ZillionBig, what can I say? Some people never grow up. Thanks a lot for your concern.

Thanks Priya, my baby is finally home and I can't wait to make up for the lost time.

SJ, I guess deprivation made me quirky. Next post is going to be better, I promise.

Ishita, I knew I would find you here. Have you forgotten that your exams are starting pretty soon? So what are you doing on my blog?

Lala, it was a frustrating time at home. thank god the "baby" is back.

Swatantra, thank you very much.

Gymnast, welcome to my blog and thank you very much for your comment. I have 2 daughters, one is almost 14 and the other one is almost 8. They are wiser than me.At least thats what they think.

Aparna said...

R. Ramesh, what Sidney Sheldon book did you read? Thanks for writing in, friend.

Zeba, thank you girl. My sense of humour got away a bit from me.

P, At last a person who completely understands what I mean. Thanks for writing in.

Sucharita, my re-newed baby is back re-charged and I can not wait to re-start my blogging. Thanks for commenting.

Jaadi, welcome to my blog.It is always good to connect with like-minded people.

Sakshi, hahaha, thank you. Don't you think Ishita writes well too? May be I am biased.

Eye-in-sty-in, I hope that ":P" was a complementary gesture and I accept it humbly. Thank you.

Tiger said...

how did u post this then when your baby is getting a new dress? Hmm.. MJ makes this a sad time. But his music will live on. All the competition has to beat it. RIP MJ. And you sweet hubby had a nice plan to cheer you up. I am dieting and you go on to explain akk the dishes? :)

Keep writing.

anamika said...

I am new to your Blog...Was really worried and feminist women inside me was almost bloated but soon I realized your mischief...

Amazing u r...

I am glad your babies is back and is in full health otherwise you would have made mess of so many novice people like me.

Suree said...

oh!!.. initially i thought y:ou r talking about your child...You know , some how i thought your husband is a bad dad.

anyways how is ur PC now... :)

Nazish Rahman said...

OMG...initially i thought it was your child and then later realized it was not your child but PC..lol!!!

Well written...but ya hope your "baby" gets well soon with all her memory back and with some latest updates so that again her mother will not crash!!! i think your husband did what anyone else would have done ...so dont be angry on him, all he wanted to do was just to cheer u up and divert your mind from this...lol!!!

hope your next post will be with your baby!!!

tc...amd my lov to your baby..lol!!

kavita said...

APARNA....you scared me...i wish your baby a speedy recovery...gawd i was scared...i am lucky to have a friend who loves to sort out these kinda viruses ...last month i had same problem it took him a day to fix the problem...but it was the longest day of my life....i understand what you are going through...

foreigndesi said...

You had me in near tears! Then I read the computer part.

We've all been through hard drive crashes *sigh* sometimes such tragedies happen :P I hope your baby gets well soon, I'll add in a prayer for her tonight.

Aparna said...

Tiger, my baby came back last night. I posted from a cafe.

Anamika, thanks for coming to my blog.Hope you will visit again.

Suree, baby is absolutely hale and hearty. Welcome to my blog.

Thanks a lot Nazish, yes I know my husband was only trying to help.

Kavita, lucky you. I don't have any such friends. A colleague of my husband sorted out the problem. He took 5 agonising days.

Foreigndesi, the get well soon messeges have worked wonders and my baby is now fit and fine. Hope you enjoyed my blog. Do visit aain.

Smita said...

ha ha ha!!!

Even my baby is not working!!!! Her battery has conked off & can't be charged further!!

I too am at a cafe not seedy though ;-)

Good luck!!!

Akshay said...

Ende Ishwara!! You got me completely and I was so worried. Anyway, I am feeling like a fool now as I am writing this comment. The way you refer to your laptop was really nice. I thought it was a small baby. Hence I guess, I got completely fooled for believing your story. I had a feeling that you have outdone yourself.

Nice post!!

Meira said...

GOsh! You got me! But I hope your baby recovers and gets home in mint condition.

Neelam Prabhu Gaonker said...

ohmigosh...the last three days have been traumatic for me as well...my baby was also sent for a routine checkup....n they jus kept pushin the discharge date ahead and ahead....finally i went and got it today...n here i am readin ur blog on it :)
nice one...

colormesunshine said...

God woman....you got me there! I was almost crying for what I thought was a real baby....I'm glad I read all the way! ufffff blogs are making people mad i tell you ;)

glad you drop in on my blog. i found yours in the process.

Babli said...

Very well written. I appreciate for your lovely post. You each and every post is unique.

partha sen said...

Hope your baby fully recover. Really a great post. Nice way to make us worry till halfway and a smile at the next stage.
Best post from you.

Aparna said...

@ Smita, my sympathies. In that one week I finished 2 books and reread some old ones. So not everything was lost.

@ Akshay, thank you. Will let you on a secret. Feels great to fool some people every now and then. You shoud try it sometimes

@ Meira, baby is back! And cant stop celebrating!

@ Neelam, good to know you also got your baby back home.

@ Colourmesunshine, well, theres good mad and theres bad mad. When the computer was not there I turned into a bad mad person and I didn't like it one bit.

@ Babli, thank you.

@ Partha, Thank you. Hope you will visit again.

Nikki said...

LOlz! I so thought you were talking about your real baby!

Hope your baby comes back to you soon!

Mystic Margarita said...

Sheesh! You DQ, you! I had to read through the post with bated breath before I realized you were talking about your computer! :) Anyhoo, glad the baby is better :)

sHiNiNg sUrYa said...

hey what can i say? i m speechless for ur BABY. u stopped my breath midway :)...for me i cant even think of a single day without my HP.I knw the pain u had undergone. Thnx u r back again at least thru a cafe.Stay in touch with some new writings.i like them.i must say u r a complete stress buster :), good writer as well.

A Muser said...

So funny, Aparna! You got me too! Was sure you were referring to a pet.

ani_aset said...

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

:)

Parita said...

hey aparna, first time here, gosh i seriously thought it was one your angel, thank god i was wrong, had a hearty laugh in the end!! Very nicely written!

Aparna said...

Hi Nikki, Glad you found it funny. Believe me, those days I was in severe depression.

Mystic Margarita, What drama? This is all reality...

Surya, thank you. At last someone who empathises with my pain.

A Muser, well at times it does seem like my pet.

Ani-aset, Hahahaha.

Parita, welcome to my blog. Hope you will keep on visiting.

ani_aset said...

i was filled with emotions of sadness pity and prayers..till i read the end ..which means, you write pretty well

athivas said...

Huh!!I seriously thought your baby is sick with virus and was wondering why you were not taken along to the hospital!! Came in anxiety to see updates in the comments section. It was here I learnt you were talking of the PC all along...Sigh!!!Relieved!!

Pradip Biswas said...

So this time get good Norton kind medicine so that your baby do not get infected. This is agood thriller.