Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Pressure Points

My husband is 5 feet 9 inches and weighs almost 90 kgs.
I am almost 5 feet 5 inches and weigh 54 kgs.
My husband is what a lot of my Bengali relatives call "phat". My biased mother however calls him "pleasantly plump".
The same Bengali relatives think that I can give the size zero "Koreenaa Kaapooor" a serious run for her money. My mother thinks that I am too thin and need to put on some weight. Thank you mom, I love you too.

My husband is passionate about his sweets. From rabri to kheer, cakes to tiramisu, ice-creams to puddings, he loves them all equally. He also gorges on all fried stuff.
I hate sweets. Never liked them. Never eat them. I also dislike fried stuff. The same goes for oily food like parathas, puris and kachoris.

I generally try to go in for some serious work-outs. For the past year, yoga has become a daily fixation. I also go for walks. Before that, I was into gymming.
My husband's idea of a work-out is to jump into water and float for an hour. At the end of which he feels ravenous and gorges some more on fried stuff. If I raise my eyebrows, he compromises and eats a tripple layered cheese sandwich.

My husband travels most of the week. Last month, he was home for may be just about 7 days. He takes those' god-awful 'early morning flights. Comes back late night. If he lands early, he reports to office straight from the airport. In a month, he travels almost all over India. If he has some left over time, his boss sends him abroad.
I am a stay at home mom. My travels are restricted to schools, banks, local super markets and my friends' houses. Once a year I travel to some exotic place with my husband for our annual holiday.

My husband is the COO of a reasonably big sized company. There is always a crisis situation somewhere. He has to deal with global recession, transport strikes, credit crunch, corrupt government officials and staff mutiny on a daily basis. I only have to deal with home works and exams, absconding maids, moody drivers and innumerable guests.

Both of us refrain from drinking. Occassionally, with his friends though, my husband drinks beer. I stick to a glass of red wine.

So 2 days back, when we both went to the doctor's for a physical, what do you think we found?

My husband was disgustingly healty. No blood pressure, no bad cholesterol and a happy, healthy heart.
Yours truly had a sky-rocketing BP, abnormally high pulse rate and slightly high cholesterol. My over anxious doctor put me through a series of further tests. The same doctor told my beaming husband ,"Congratulations, please continue to lead this healthy lifestyle".

So my husband has taken the kids to the local ice-cream parlour to celebrate the verdict. And here I am , blogging my woes.

ARRGHHHH. Life is soooo unfair.

53 comments:

Ajit Ray said...

Wish I were as lucky as Mesho... Mashi, life's not unfair, our gene pool is!

ZiLliOnBiG said...

hahaha, its all so familiar, as if you are telling my tale. Iam 5 11", so my 95kgs is slightly better than ur husbands. and rest is all the same.

My wife is obsessed with getting me into a diet.

Dont worry about ur BP, cholesterol. Just chill and continue ur yoga, workout and diet. Shouldn't last long, these med conditions. cheers:))

PURN!MA said...

HAHAHAHAHAA.. I expected that result. :) Anyways, I am inclined to feel partial towards your husband though. you live life, but once. khau pio, majja karo. :D

AnjuGandhi said...

same story every where
I think that we women worry too much, think too much and go on brooding over small small mundane issues that is the reason for high cholestrol ( even i have high,whereas i also come in the category of slim people) and level of cholestrol and stress are inerrelated.
this is my finding so pl dont look for any scientific reasons. just carry on with ur yoga and walking and laugh a lot

SJ said...

I really don't want to d this but --ROFL!!!! Oh Aparna continue your yoga and exercises. You might not be healthy etc but you write SO well :P

sujata said...

I love our family but so hate our gene pool!! I think I will go mad worrying about it..cancer check, kidneys check heart check shoot man better to die..but the gene pool has given the sense of humour as well so cheers to that!! loved the post.

Nona said...

Send me your husband's number! I need to exchange notes on the ice cream parlors, sweet shops and the other eateries catering to healthy life style.

My friend, my heart goes out to you. But I can't help chuckling. :) You had in me in splits from "yours truly".

Joke apart, Yoga should fix all the issues identified by your doctor. :)

I do not recommend "Mafia Wars" to you as your BP will shoot up the roof. In case you still interested, you can start playing this game on facebook portal. I will try to look you on facebook and send you an invite. :)

Amal Bose said...

haha..
in my opinion you have to eat to get healthy..
im not fat or anything, but i think being a bit out of size doesnt matter if u r completely healthy..

loved the post :)

Smita said...

Oh! I agree, life is unfair!!!

I don't eat sweets & avoid fried stuff. My hubby does the reverse and is still not gaining any weight :(

Jyothi said...

This is the story everywhere!!!I Knew it...Cholestrol is in my gene pool. So I am going to be a sure shot victim. But I love to eat , much to the dismay of my over cautious and unhealthy husband..

I actually lost more weight in the months that I was hogging on ice creams. I even recommended that to my friends....he he

Kishore Choudhary said...

Life is another name for happiness. It is up to us that how we are going to enjoy this happiness. Some people think that life is another name of miseries and troubles but I believe that it is purely up to us that how we are taking it. One thing is for sure that if we will take it as it is coming to us then we will surely enjoy it to its fullest.

JD said...

u write well.. liked ur blogs..
will come bak again

Ms. Neha Gandhi said...

hahhaha... thats funny

but i dont understand hows that possible considering u work out regularly and avoid unhealthy stuff

ahhh size zero... thats a new fad now :)

Mumbai Diva said...

oops! :D Life's unfair.....

btw, you have a really nice blog

Sucharita Sarkar said...

Sorry about your health concerns, but I cannot help but rejoice with your husband....as i am also 'phat' and desserts-addicted.

eye-in-sty-in said...

morning jog?

Rajesh said...

Very nice post.

This reminds me of my 2 year old past where I used to travel extensively with every little time for family. I too love sweets and fried items.

Doctor examination results excites me. I think now I should take the tests of which I was scared.

Priya said...

hey Aparna..thanks for you sweet idea..but to your post i prefer not to comment "anonymously"...i read the last two posts and i loved both of them so very much..will go through all of your writings slowly and i think that will keep me off my weird feelings... :D:D

BTW..congratulations to your hubby for being so fit even with his "phat" statistics. :D

and i start following your blog here on....

Miss M said...

Haha this post was hilarious!

Just continue with your workout religiously and you'll be fine! :)

Aparna said...

@ Ajit, so finally you broke your silence! Agree, our gene pool is pathetic.

@ Zillionbig, don't go on a diet, doesn't help. And you are right, my high BP was just a one off thing. It's perfectly normal now.

@ Purnima, haha, so you are laughing at my expense now are you?
BTW, my husband loved your khao pio majja karo advice.

@ Anju, you are so right. I tend to worry a lot and that was the reason for my sudden high BP.Can't help my nature.

@ SJ, good I made you laugh this time. Was starting to feel guilty about the last 2 mushy posts.

@ Sujata, what can I say? Theres no escape from the great family. As Ajit says, life is not unfair, our gene pool is. God bless him for such profound statements.

@ Nona, I will definitely not give you my husband's no. Have a feeling you 2 will gang up against me. I need all the support I can get.Even if its from the mafia.

@ Amal Bose, absolutely on the dot Amal, being healthy is all that matters. Thanks for visiting my blog.

@ Smita, thank you for your support. As you can see from the comments, my husband seems to be winning here.

@ Jyothi, have fun with the ice-creams. My husband vouches for their health benefits.

Aparna said...

Thanks Kishore. You are always such an encouragement.

Thanks JD for dropping by.

Hi Neha, Size 0 runs in my mother's side of the family. So didnt do anything to be what I am. Lucky genes I guess. High pressure and cholesterol runs in my father's side. Unlucky this time.

Thanks Mumbai Diva. Hope you will visit again.

Aparna said...

@ Sucharita, you are taking my husband's side? I thought you were my friend. Have fun with those desserts.

@ eye-in sty-in, are you inviting me or telling me? Sorry I am not a morning person. So no walks or jogs... I go for a walk in the evenings though.

@ Rajesh, go for the appointment without fear. Happy people dont get sick.

@ Priya, thanks for dropping by. Good you did not do the anonymous posting on my blog. I need all the support I can get after this doctors visit.

@ Miss M,Thanks but where were you all these days? No blogs also from you. I keep visiting.

Miss M said...

I know I know...

Kintu exams cholche. Shei jonne time nei blog koraar. :(

Kintu soon, I promise!
:)

lala said...

haha... nice... by the way even i am 5'10 and weigh 90... and i enjoy my sweets and fries too... the beer adds to all this. dont worry about your health... yoga is very good for the body.

Vamshi Krishna A said...

Unfair? I loved the dieting part. I hate doing it and didnt go anywhere near it for many years but taking to it for a similar reason. But I am loving it.

Dr Roshan R said...

thank you thank you thank you... finally I have hope that people like me stand a chance of being termed healthy inspite of my sweet eating, exercise loathing lifestyle.. :)

radiya said...

HAHAHAHA.....its so funny.
Life really sucks big time!!
Maybe you should try eating sweets, icecreams, fried stuff...etc...then you will not feel so cheated!!

Sourendu said...

I knew it. A good lifestyle should come naturally and easily; it cannot be sweaty and hard. Try hard to relax, Aparna.

Sakshi said...

ROFL I had a good laugh for a day and now came back acting all serious to comment. Oh Aparna it's so unfair no? *giggling*. dearie maybe you should slow down a bit *still giggling*. Aioo am not good at it...let me laugh..and now am I really really scared?? coz am like you too..in fact more thin than you...am not gonna go for a health check.

PS: Have you started gorging yet on food?? And yup like SJ said ur husband can't beat you on ur writing skills for sure..

Rahul Anand said...

lol..that was funny. I think its got to do more with our genes rather than the kind of lifestyle we lead. I see some colleagues of mine who eat like 'Kumbhakarns' and still are lean as a stick, and some vice versa.

But regardless, maintaining a healthy lifestyle does help in the long run. Cheers.

R. Ramesh said...

convey our congrats to yr hubby...and u, u take care..:)

CM-Chap said...

ROFL @ you :). Came here via Wishesgalore... Loved ur writg style & Pity you for the verdict. Now u created a scare in me bcz I look thin (As per ppl, as per me.. Slim)...

Nice way of writg... wil come back for more reading

Rush said...

lol...i hold back the chocolate mousse i have in my hand..maybe its best place is in the bin?

hell no, after i finish commenting i am diggin in again!

sHiNiNg sUrYa said...

hmmm...i think the parathas,puris & kachoris did the complaining against u near almighty for not eating them.

hey just kidding :):):)

anyways ur blog is very content'ful'

colormesunshine said...

it's the genes...i have the same problem...in fact I've been having high BP for the last three years and trying so desparately to loose more weight. If life had a gender, I'm sure it's a male. Unfair!

nice blog btw..will come again

eye-in-sty-in said...

ha ha ha - I'm not a morning person either! So NO. I'm not inviting you, atleast for now. But if you stay close to Chembur, I know a few good places to jog... My sis will be delighted to accompany you :-) (I'm not in India @ the moment)

A morning jog or even a walk can be good for starters.... If you need more tips, i'll be glad to help...

PS: A request - Either remove the word verification or at least tell me what does "ackreter" mean!!!

eye-in-sty-in said...

And yes, evening jogs are a much better option - now only if one is able to get home at a decent hour to go for a jog!!

PS: While you are at it, also find out "wascelyf"!!!!!

wishes galore said...

ooo, life is indeed unfair;(...

ur height n weight ratio scared me a bit too as all the people around me has given the verdict that i am a tough competition to "kareena kapoor" for size zero!!!now this brings you and me into competition,lol...

take care n start following ur husband's diet,lol..may be that would be the cure;))

nice blog..thanks for dropping by..will be coming here more for sure..

Gymnast said...

Absolutely unfair , i say. The same that i feel when i see some people gorging like there's no tomorrow , yet remaining thin as a stick , and here i am , gaining weight even if i breathe air.
Unfair!!

Tanvi said...

Hi aparna,

Thanks for visiting my blog.

I m sorry about ur health results, but after listening to your side of the schedule, I think the only thing you need to change is your stress level, because everything ur mentioned is Stress related.

Good luck and feel better soon.

SGD said...

First time on your blog!!
Had a good laugh!! Both me and my husband are gradually progressing towards the phat phootball Bengali!
Both of us have this terribly 'healthy' lifestyle like your husband. But my husband has all the BPs & Triglycerides while I'm 'phit & phine'!!!!

Aparna said...

@ Miss M, arre porikkha to ki hoyechche. Start blogging...its a huge stress buster.

@ lala, thanks for laughing at my expense. You take care too.

@ Vamshi Krishna, thanks for visiting my blog. Hope you will visit again.

@ Dr Roshan R, you are welcome. Continue your "healthy" lifestyle.

@ Radiya, I know life is grossly unfair. But still cant eat sweets. Dont like them.

@ Sourendu, I knew you would support your brother.I am really trying to relax, but when someone eats 2 samosas, a plate of bhelpuri and a large icecream and then demand dinner 2 hours later...it is so damn difficult.

@ Sakshi, start eating girl. You dont want to be in my position.

@ Rahul Anand, thanks. Yes it is my cursed gene pool.

@ R. Ramesh, thanks mate. Do visit again.

Aparna said...

@ CM Chap, welcome to my blog. Hope you will visit again.

@ Rush, thanks for visiting. Go ahead and enjoy your chocolate mousse without any worry.

@ Shinning Surya, thanks for the warning. Will try not to stay away from vengeful food next time. Welcome to my blog. Keep visiting.

@ Colourmesunshine, welcome aboard.Hope you will visit again.

@ Eye-in-sty-in, I stay pretty far away from Chembur but my husband's office is close by. May be you can suggest some good eating joints instead.And ackreter and wascely are synonyms. They both mean jgfoust which I just typed.

@ Wishes galore, thanks. Please visit again. And take care of your health.

@ Gymnast, life sucks, but we still love it. Dont worry about your weight, as long as you are happy and healthy, nothing else matters.

@ Tanvi, thanks for your kind advice. Hope you will visit again.

@ SGD, phish, phutball and poneer, what will we Bengalis be without them ?Have phun in life and stay happy. Thanks for visiting.

Meira said...

goodness.that is SOOOOO unfair. Now...maybe you were worrying too much about him?:P

How do we know said...

TOTALLY AGREE.... i am also fat, but i m the one being asked to go for a thyroid test and have completed a couple of X rays lately..

well.. what can i say? i have a theory that says that stress, not eating habits, is what kills.. and ur case just abt proves it. what ppl dont realise is that a mother has high stress all the time. A working mother has super stress all the time +1 hour everyday.

Swatantra said...

Hi,

I had a good laugh!! You write very well!! The end is very cute!!

It is an inspiration to have a weight like urs!!

Keep writing!! Thanks!!

Sumandebray said...

High BP and cholesterol are normal …. So what’s the point in worrying about those? Men in our family have seldom seen beyond their 62nd birthday even being a teetotaler… so I have decided to do whatever I feel like doing all these 60 years. Live today and die another day!
It was good to know about you and your family.

Vivek Patwardhan said...

Very interesting. Enjoyed reading your blog,
Vivek

Guruprasad said...

:D

hilarious one...

though i am underweight, i can completely relate to what you are saying... if its not weight and health then life finds other ways of being unfair to us! :P

Zeba Talkhani said...

Haha. Life is unfair. Lucky hubby though. And u please take care of your health!!

My mum thinks I am too thin as well and now that i am home from college all mum does is keep feeding me.

Reflections said...

LOL...life sure is unfair. I didnt see tht last part coming. Had a good laugh;-D.

Incase u r wondering I came here via ur comment in SJ's blog where u wanted to drag some of her commentors to urs;-D

foreigndesi said...

Haha, The odds of this happening is quite rare! On the plus side, you're already used to a healthy life style, and I'm sure continuing yoga & healthy eating will fix it all soon!

You're a fabulous writer!

ani_aset said...

Aparna don't pop the pill for this..hit the gym or dance school soon :P..that's what i did, even though i'm not PHAT