Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Lessons

Everyday I learn.

I learn that my children are like a lump of clay. I have to decide whether to create angels or devils. Everyday  I learn that it is easier to create devils. It is very hard to make angels. I learn that to preach about discipline and schedules, routines and time management is one thing. Practicing what I preach is another.
Everyday I learn that staying healthy is not merely an option, it is a necessity. That only a healthy mother can bring up healthy children.

Everyday I learn that more complex my life gets, more I crave for simple pleasures. That walking barefoot on a beach brought me more happiness than taking a limo ride. Seeing the first rain, feeling the sun on my back on a cold, winter morning, sleeping till late on a lazy Sunday have been more fun than shopping in Paris.

Everyday I learn that my parents need me more than ever. That my father is no longer strong and capable and he needs me to take charge once in a while. I learn that my mother who was my support for so long, is now dependent on me. Everyday I learn that my parents are steadily growing older. And I learn that no matter how old I become, I will never stop needing them.

Every day I learn. I learn that it is easy to hurt and to wound but is difficult to heal.  That some hurts stay fresh forever and no amount of kissing them can make you feel better. I learn that it is easy to forget, difficult to forgive. That it is even more difficult to forgive ones own mistakes.

Everyday I learn that my body is slowing down. That this decline in strength is natural and inevitable. That this is just the  nature's way of telling me to take things easy  and not to rush through life. But  everyday I learn that though I would love to sip a cup of tea and read the newspaper early in the morning, it is rather difficult to do so with  two growing children.

I learn that though I loved being single and childless, it is not who I am anymore. I also learn that my years, my scars and my experiences are a part of me. That there is grace in accepting that colouring my hair will not make me 23 again.

Everyday I learn that my happiness and my joy depend on who I am and how much love I have. That my friends love me for what I am and not what I want to be. That the love I have received over the years can never be measured.

Every day I learn that I am truly blessed to be born, here on earth. To be surrounded by so much beauty and joy. To be a part of this unique planet. To witness the change of seasons, the flowering of plants, the sands of time. And everyday I learn that  this is what really matters.

Header photograph by Ishita Gupta

55 comments:

Anu said...

great one, aparna! there;s nothing more daunting than the task of bringing up my son with the values i want him to imbibe! and you can imagine how the problems are compounded, living in a joint family like i do, with everyone having their own idea about how things are to be done!!! guess lessons will go on for life!!!

Anu said...

great one, aparna! there;s nothing more daunting than the task of bringing up my son with the values i want him to imbibe! and you can imagine how the problems are compounded, living in a joint family like i do, with everyone having their own idea about how things are to be done!!! guess lessons will go on for life!!!

Tomz said...

Thoughtful musings...

Sharmila said...

Aparna .. the header is perfect for this post. Ishita has a good eye and a good heart ... both needed for a good photographer. :-)
Coming to your post, I, as usual, am at a loss for words. You put everything so simply and beautifully that bisecting and dissecting them takes their beauty away I believe. :-)

Diwakar Sinha said...

this was beautiful beyond measure..
i needed this post i think...with the life i was having presently..
thankyou :)

Bhavya.B said...

Great post Aparna. Our lives are the best teacher.

PURN!MA said...

:)

SJ said...

As always well written.

Nu said...

The post rose from one mood,sailed through another and halted at entirely different mood of yours. I loved the post and these learnings would be more or less same for every human being on this planet.

I cold related to some of your learnings...and hence I could connect to your moods throughout !

I really look forward to your posts,always...they let me connect to my own thinking and I can come out with entirely different perspective altogether, thanks for that !

Nona said...

At a loss of words after reading it. Beautiful post.

Margaret said...

Aparna - Thanks for this post - It's wonderful!!

I can relate to many of the topics you mentioned. No luxuries could ever replace the simple pleasures of life. I'm also learning that my father is no longer the independent person he always was.

And as I've been badly hurt just recently, I know how that feels and am learning to forgive but it's not easy!

We never stop learning all through our different stages of life.
You beautiful summed up what's important in your last few lines. I'll go along with that! :)

Ugich Konitari said...

Wonderful post!.

Life continues, nudging you, sometimes winking at you, sometimes worrying with you, sometimes making you question things, and sometimes even giving you some answers.

Its a life school. And we must continue to seek and learn....

Smita said...

This is such a lovely piece my dear!!!

Each day is a new learning & u have said it so well :)

Pins N Ashes said...

so well put and I learnt n realised so many things by reading what u just said....

Ashes

Aparna said...

Anu, I completely understand what you mean. Though I do not stay in a joint family, I have a fair idea of what happens there since I grew up in one.I hope you succeed in teaching those values...

Tomz, thank you.

Sharmila, these days photography is her latest passion. I do not know how long this phase will last. If she wants to take up this as a profession then I would love it.Thanks for your valuable comment.

Diwakar,thank you. I hope you do in your life what you are really want.

Bhavya, yes, life is the greatest teacher.

Purnima, thanks, :-) to you too!

SJ, thanks buddy, how's the thesis going?

Nu, thank you so much for this. I wrote this not expecting any comments. This was what I felt and I just expressed my thoughts.I am glad I could connect with you.

Nona, thank you...

Margaret, I am speechless. Thank you so much for understanding. I send you my warmest wishes.

Ugich Konitari, life is a school, it a lesson, it is also a teacher. And the best part is that most of us enjoy it.

Smita, thank you so much. I am glad you liked the post.

Pins and Ashes, thank you so much

ZB said...

I too care relate to this beautiful post of urs. We are blessed and fortunate to be blessed. Its important in life to be content. happiness comes from contentment.TC:)

sujata said...

lajawab!! lajawab!! Birthday babe..whats up?? the post though beautiful seems a bit morose..We are not old you know..we are just girls with grey hair and forgetful minds, who happen to have kids and husbands and ageing parents..but the crux is that you & I are just girls, maybe old but girls!!

Sandhya said...

'only a healthy mother can bring up healthy children'.

'Everyday I learn that my parents are steadily growing older. And I learn that no matter how old I become, I will never stop needing them'.

'Everyday I learn that my body is slowing down......you have written my own thoughts, here, Aparna.

You have expressed yourself, so beautifully. I have two grown up sons and yet to know how I have brought them up after they settle down in their lives.

The Holy Lama said...

Too many parallels. A classic post.:)Wish you see more moons.

Jyothi said...

I thought I already commented!!What happened to my comment! Well good in a way. Got to know it was your Birthday. :) Belated Birthday wishes.I am not surprised, BDay's make u feel like this!!I have one coming up next month...And I am planning to ignore it this year..will that help???

Akshay said...

It's a wonderful post Aparnadi. I could relate to almost every topic you have touched upon. No amount of luxuries can ever replace the simple pleasures of life. It's easy to forgive but difficult to forget. It's easy to fight but difficult to assess the reason for the fight.

You beautifully summed up what's important in life especially in the last few lines. I'll go with that. :D.

R. Ramesh said...

Apppp...kee bol che? kasa kai? long time no c..thanks 4 passing by..:)

The Panorama said...

So true, Aparna. This is a post from the heart. I identify with everything you wrote here. Love this post:)

J P Joshi said...

Been there.... beautifully expressed in words. Enjoyed the post and could relate to most of it.

shankar.n said...

wonderful post... seems like a poem and a lesson/guide to everyone..

its true that, no matter how far we grow and how luxury that we are used to, we still enjoy the small pleasures more... a nice way of uncoiling the human brain....

Aparna said...

ZB,happiness comes from within, no amount of external force can make us happy.Unfortunately a very few of us realise that.

Sujata,why did you think it was morose? I was quite happy when I wrote it and we will be girls even at 80!

Sandhya, I am sure your sons are rock stars...with a cool mom like yours, they have no other option.

The Holy Lama, thanks.

Jyothi,thank you. You can try ignoring it...but the feeling won't go away!

Akshay, simple pleasures, you have said it buddy. Thanks.

Ramesh, hi...and thanks for visiting.

Saroj,(Panorama)thank you. I was feeling a introspective when I wrote it.

JP Joshi, thank you very much.

Shankar, simple pleasures and love in our lives...what else do we want?

Swatantra said...

Happy Birthday aparna.. Nice thoughts i am speechless.. specially on the parents and kids...

God Bless you with much more strength and love!!

BK Chowla said...

It is a very touching and meaningful post.Every day the process of learning continues.Happy b'day.

Bedazzled said...

hey.. hopped in from Smita's blog.. very well written piece !

blunt edges said...

i learnt today that junk food adds lotsa calories 2 the body...n i also learnt that i love junk food...isn't it ironic? ;)

am i the only one who never learns? :D

Sumandebray said...

good to read....keep it flowing!
BTW...Past has a kind of romanticism.... when we look back at the years we crossed we see 365 days packed in percels consisting of only a few moments... like higlights of a match. The present is the live coverage and without a replay option at that!

11thoughts said...

Loved this post :) Learnt from it too!

kavita said...

Aparna..belated Happy Birthday Wishes.So true !I could relate to most of it ,same sentiments i too share but in a haphazard manner,thanks for arranging them so neatly and beautifully...close to heart post.
Ishita..great job!

Gyanban said...

Do you know why history repeats itself? Because people don't learn from it.!

nsiyer said...

Awesome is not the word. Very well written and insightful, Aparna. Kudos to you for putting the simple things in perspective.

Neha said...

very nice thoughts aparna...at each stage of life, we learn so much na.. thank you for sharing...and belated happy birthday :)

kavita said...

HI...Aparna !

♥ Braja said...

Nicely written thoughts, Aparna....

Smita said...

Booo!!! You are tagged here
http://books-life-n-more.blogspot.com/2009/11/in-process-of-untagging-myself.html

Aparna said...

Hi every one...I have been extremely busy so I am very late in replying to all of you. I apologize sincerely.

Swatantra, thank you for your comments and encouragement.

BK Chowla, thank you. Our lessons never stop in life...

Bedazzled, thank you for hopping over. I hope you will visit again.

Blunt edges, I love junk food too and I am yet to learn the bad effects of eating pizza!

Suman, watching cricket these days?

11thoughts, thank you.

Kavita, hi and thank you so much. Just some random thoughts I felt like jotting down. And Ishita conveys her thanks too.

Gyanban, we never seem to really learn, isn't it?

Nsiyer, thank you, I am glad you liked my random thoughts.

Neha, thank you. These were just some thoughts and feelings I thought like writing down.

Hi Kavita, thanks for the gentle reminder!!

Braja, hi...thank you so much.

Smita, hi, this tag unlike other tags is interesting. May be I will take it up one of these days! Thanks.

Meira said...

How true. I wish I have the courage to accept change with as much grace and welcome as my mom did! Sigh
The pic is good, Ishita

Haddock said...

That my friends love me for what I am and not what I want to be..............very true.

Sakshi said...

Ayyo you ok? hope you are not suffering from high fever, tooth ache or loose motion :(. I am so used to your humorous post and this one kicked me right in the wrong place. Is it your birthday and you are getting all senti? Needless to say nice post but I echo Sujata's thoughts....always be girls :)

Sucharita Sarkar said...

Lovely thoughts. And oh-so-very-true. Though we may moan and groan, and cuss and fuss, deep down we are all so thankful for this mess and grace called life.

Sakshi said...

Came back to say what I forgot yesterday. Ishita's photography is rocking :)

Shachi said...

A very thought provoking post. I so much wish after reading this that I am closer to my parents.....and can take care of them on a daily basis.

The pic is too good :)

Nu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nu said...

Long time no post ? I need my brain tonic !

Aparna said...

Meira, we have so nuch to learn from our mothers still..

Haddock, thanks.

Sucharita, mess and grace? You don't know how true you are.

Sakshi, I am fine, just a bit of introspection. Some people BTW have become fed up with my "frivolous" posts and let me know that my writing lacked substance. So I thought of writing a few serious ones.

Shachi, yeah, we need our parents and they need us too.

Nu, hi. Just posted. Brain tonic? You are so good for my ego. Thanks. Was a little busy so did not post for some time. How have you been?

Haddock said...

Reminds me of my fav writer Busybee (Behram Contractor)
When he came out of the fire temple, his wife asked him "what do you pray for?"
He answered "I have never prayed for anything in life. I have only thanked for everything that I have got"
Incidentally my latest post is in his style of writing where he used to write a column "Round and about" in an evening Bombay paper. Unfortunately nobody noticed that style.

Sakshi said...

I respect your wishes and keeping my brain and fingers in check and not mentioning about your latest post :)

Just wanted to ask you something. I will be in kolkata for a month in December and wanted to know if you can suggest some jhakaas places for shopping and sight seeing :)

Aparna said...

Thanks Haddock. I will definitely read that post.

Sakshi, sent you a facebook msg. Tell me if you get it.

R. Ramesh said...

hey friend thanks ya

bluebird said...

One of the best writings I have ever come across. Wonder how I could have missed reading it for so long!

Ayesha said...

Loved this post especially. Could relate to each and every feeling. It was beautifully composed and honestly said.

I have learnt myself and eveyday I am grateful for all these learnings that life brings to me. :)

Thanks for sharing.