Those Speechless Moments

She was just two and a half.
For a school programme, she was asked to dress up in a saree and mouth a really long dialogue.
The conversation went like this.

Me : Baby, can you say '' I am Sarojini Naidu?"

Baby : I am Sarojini Kaidu.

Me : Sweetie, it is not Kaidu. Say I am Sarojini Naidu.

Baby : I am Sarojini.

Me : Ok, will do....

The day of the programme daddy and mommy went to see Baby perform.

Teacher : Now comes Ayushi, dressed as ...who are you honey?

Baby : I am Sarojini Nagar market.

Me :

Then she turned three. And the conversation went like this.

Baby: Mama, why is Krishna always standing like this?

Me : Like what baby?

Baby : With one leg crossed?

Me : That's his pose for playing the flute.

Baby : I think he needs to go to susu and he is trying to control himself because there is no bathroom.

Me :

And this happened when she was 5.

Me : Baby,come here. I will take your photograph.

Baby: Can I paint my teeth with your glitter nail polish first?

Me: Whatever for?

Baby: I want my teeth to sparkle and shine when I smile at the camera.

Me:

And then she turned really intelligent when she was 6.

Baby: Mama, who are these men?

Me : This is Ratan Tata. And this one is Adi Godrej.

Baby : What kind of parents did they have?

Me : I think pretty good. Why do you ask?

Baby: They were cruel to name their children after trucks and almirahs. Do you think their friends teased them in school because of their names?

Me :

And this conversation happened just two weeks back.

Baby: Do you think I can celebrate my birthday in the place that opened recently?


Me : I don't think so. That is a place for grown ups.


Baby :Why do you say that?


Me: Because what they serve is not meant for children. They serve what adults like.


Baby: Oh! you mean they serve drugs and alcohol?


Me :






Exactly 8 years ago, more or less at this time, I had looked up and seen the beaming face of my doctor." Congratulations," she had said.
Then she had tried to look sombre. " Did you want a boy?"
I had looked around and seen the anaesthetist taking off her gloves. She had smiled and winked at me. The paediatrician was still holding the baby and she had seemed completely enamored with the new born. I had also seen the two nurses who had tirelessly helped the doctors.
Through out the process, the doctors had discussed amongst themselves the most comfortable yet fashionable shoes to wear in the hospitals. They had discussed the challenges of working mothers. Their parents and their special needs. And had cracked jokes. I did not know whether they did all this it to keep my mind off my anxiety. Or that was how they always worked.
Incidentally, I was also vaguely aware of the presence of two males during my ordeal. One had become so nervous that he almost destroyed the corridors of the hospital with his pacing. The other one was the orderly who had wheeled me in. Did I want a boy?


That was my best speechless moment as a mother.

A Theme For Her Dream

God is in the details,or so I believed. I painstakingly planned down to the minutest detail. I was throwing a party for my daughter who would be turning six and she wanted to have something different this time. " We are sick of the same old party games...It has become pretty boring. Can't you do something better?"
So I thought I would throw the party of the year and planned a 'Pirate Theme Party' for her.
Invitation cards proclaiming "Ahoy there matey" went to all the miniature pirates. 'Captain Ayushi'wanted to call all her friends to be there at her 'pier', Large cardboard skulls, black flags, and ships were cut out by the captain's elder sister and father. A large 3kg cake in the shape of a pirate ship was ordered. It was another matter that the cake finally looked like a bus that had met with an unfortunte accident. But who cared? It was made of rich, gooey chocolate right?
An old harmonium box covered with gold paper sat in the middle of the hallway full of 'return gifts' - a sparkling sword, a black eye patch and a pair of binoculars for each child.
A game of treasure hunt was played. My elder daughter with her friend had hidden chocolate coins wrapped in gold in various places. Little pirates wearing their eye patches had to hunt for them and put them in their goodie bags. Whoever managed to collect the most would win 'The Grand Pirate Prize'.
Within seconds my house was completely taken over by 35 plunderers all desperately looking for ttheir nuggets of gold.Precious pirate theme paper plates and glasses flew in all directions. The forks and spoons were used more for poking each other.
Later, the pictures showed that I looked like a zombie - completely unaware of whatever was happening around me. My husband was single - handedly trying to guard the door as well the as the floor to ceiling windows. My home was on the 24th floor and we were trying to prevent 35 six year olds from flying out of them. My precious sofas had muddy (chocolate?) hand prints all over. The pristine walls sported various modern art. The white Italian marble floor had pepsi, cake and god knows what stains on it. Later, it took us almost 3 days to get the house back in order.
After making sure each child was handed over to his/her mom - (don't forget the sword, the goodie bag; aunty may I have another sword? I'm sure my brother would love one - and can I have one for my friend as well?. Are you sure that this boy belongs to her? they don't look similar), I crashed on my now ruined bed trying to get my bearings back. The little imp - one eye still patched up, came flying through the door, gave me a hug and said," That was cool - can I have an astronaut theme party next year?"