Thursday, July 16, 2009

Later, perhaps

Later perhaps I will touch your cheeks,
And feel how smooth they are;
Later perhaps I'll caress your head,
And gently smoothen your hair.

The little fingers, the curled fists,
Those round gumdrop eyes,
Later perhaps I'll kiss you, love,
And quieten your helpless cries.

But now, love, let me accept,
What grandpa and grandma say,
Accept that it was my fault,
To bring you here this day.

Let me hear that my daughter,
Is useless on this earth,
Lot of pain you will bring to us,
And not a penny you're worth.

Without a son, you know my love;
There's nothing for me but shame,
For who will light the funeral pyre,
And carry our family name?

Later, perhaps, I will my love,
Rock you till you sleep,
Right now, love, just bear with me,
And hold me while I weep.

This poem is dedicated to a woman I know, who cried after giving birth to her third daughter.
This is my second pathetic attempt at poetry. The first one you can read here.
Please feel free to trash them.


Meira said...

I think the poem is superb. It is so expressive.
And I also think the child's grandparents need to be given a good shake. ( Well her mommy too for not standing up for her and for believing in the lies of the son bringing fame)

Nona said...

Don't stop writing poems. At least, we commoners love it.

I also have a daughter. I am sorry that your friend's family is not supportive.

My father passed away in 2001. Till 2008, the rites were performed yearly by my sister!

ZB said...

its a lovely poem, so much emotions in so simple language. Its sad, that woman cried after giving birth to a daughter.

keep writing poetry. :))

anamika said...

First time a poem has brought rage in me.
Albeit nice attempt :)

Supriya Dutta said...

superb for the poem and ....for the situation...this is what we call a "society" where we live with the stigmas associated with the name of tradition and lineage...
people fail to understand if we lead an honest, wise and happy life, the lineage will go on with grace irrespective of gender.

SJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SJ said...

Excuse me madam, I think you not yet know what pathetic means. Just wait till I write a poem them you shall know!

This was just wonderful written so simple yet poignant.

Kavita Saharia said...

Lovely poem Aparna...nice surprise for me....

Lala said...

i really dont think its pathetic... but the mentality of people is... a girl child is the cause of shame and a boy of happiness. i wonder why... i have failed to understand it even though i have been seeing it ever since my childhood.

Smita said...

This isn't a pathetic attempt dear!!!!

This is so so heartfelt but so painful!!!

Miss M said...


Oh my god Aparna, never EVER stop writing poems. You are really gifted!!


But why is this woman reacting this way? In this day and age, giving birth to a girl is still thought of as bringing shame to a mother?

I thought that was all in the past.

Sakshi said...

Oops for the first time in my life I could understand a poem completely word by word without googling for the meaning...and it touched a my I vouch that ur a great poet! My you can write poems too..

It's sad that a daughter's birth is considered so bad still in many parts of India and here I sit and long for a daughter...

ani_aset said...

marvellous and fabulous ..could not have been better :)

sanjay vyas said...

simple yet so powerful!
later perhaps people will realise how horribly wrong they were!
किसी हिंदी कवि ने कहा है -
" सभी नदियाँ स्त्रीओं के आंसुओं से बनी है "

R. Ramesh said...

when i distributed sweet in my bombay building after the birth of my second daughter, the instant reaction from many was: "Next time, baby boy." No thanks, happy with two darling daughters..oh shucks,,forgot to tell u the poem is gr8..hence the down memory lane..haha.

Unknown said...

Thrash them?? WHY? this poem was beautiful, yet sad!

poems i write is plz continue writing.

BrownPhantom said...

This was touching. I really was moved by this one.
It's such a stupid world.
Great work.

Ajit Ray said...

You may not be a Wordsworth but the words to convey the message are definitely worthy of praise.

Kavi said...

The beauty in poetry is the tug at the heart and the spirit.

And that, this poem does well indeed. And hmm. I think you should do this more !

And such a sensitive topic. Aiming for 'sons' has long been a malaise that dominates our society..a long malaise ! Sigh.

NR said...

Its a lovely poem..i cant even think of coming up with a!!!

Its really sad that some parts of the society see the girl child a problem n hate it. Wonder who gave birth to it a man or a woman, it was a woman who gave them birth...n they still cant respect girls, its a shame!!!
People who respect girls are no way considered humans as far as i am concerned...animals are better.

shilpa said...

its beautiful i loved it dear

nargis said...

Dear Aparna,
Iam new to this world..nothing know abt this amazing world..coincidentally yester day i reached ur blog..
u r so nice to read u..really god blessed.
with regards,

Angel's Flight said...

Such a lovely poem! I am so so touched! glad I stopped by here.

I had written a entry along time back that dealt with the girl child....but ur poem is so much better!!


Ps: am putting u on my blog roll

P said...

Pathetic??!! I think someone is digging for compliments! (giggles!)

poignant is the word...! and intense!
shame that the woman feels this way.. my dad is a gynec and he has seen too many families opting for female infanticide.

Aparna said...

@ Meira, I will join you in giving the entire family a good shake. Unfortunately, there are too many families like that in India.Thank you for thinking the poem was good.

@ Nona, I have 2 daughters...and cheers to your sister.

@@ ZillionBig, thank you. May we expect some poetry too from you in future?

@ Anamika, I hope the rage was on behalf of the daughter and not because of my bad poetry.

@ Priya, thank you so much. Your comments are always so full of spontaneous thoughts. I love getting them.

@ SJ, of course my poem had very simple lines...I do not know any complicated words. Fortunately my parents listened to me and did not send me to so many uncool schools.So what else do you expect?

@ Kavita, thank you so much.

@ lala, we live in this pathetic society unfortunately. But people are changing, at least in the urban areas.

@ Smita, thanks so much.

@ Miss M, you and I have been lucky to be born in a family where girls are cherished. Unfortunately in many parts of India, girls are considered pretty worthless. Thanks.

@ Sakshi, as I just told SJ, since I did not go to uncool schools, I do not know many googleable words. Goodluck to you,may you be blessed with a daughter soon!

@ Ani-aset, thank you very much. It could always be better.

@ Sanjay Vyas, your comment was brilliant and I simply loved it. Thank you very much.

@ Ramesh, the 2 daughters club rocks.Thank you.

@ Purnima, thanks...I would love to sample your poetry. Waiting eagerly.

@ BrownPhantom, thank you.

@ Ajit, still trying to find my niche. Thanks for reading and egging me on.

@ Kavi, coming from you, it was a great compliment indeed. Thank you so much.

@ Nazish, thank you for calling my poem lovely. We live in a sad society.Unless we learn to respect girls, we will not reach very far.

@ Shilpa, thank you.

@ Nargis, thank you and welcome. I am looking forward to your posts.

@ Angel's flight, welcome to my blog. I really appreciate your comments. Thank you.

@ P, trust me, I have come across some poignant poetry and my poem seems really juvenile in comparison. Still, thank you very much for your appreciation. Best wishes to your dad.

Sandhya said...

Beautiful, expressive, poem, Aparna. I feel a heaviness in my heart, after reading this.

First, we are not creating bank accounts by giving birth to a son, whom, we THINK will take care of the parents, in their old age. Both son or daughter should have a good heart, which is important.

Hope this attitude will change, in the future, with all the Old Age Homes, coming up everywhere, in India.

A very good post, Aparna.

BK Chowla, said...

It is a shame that even in todays world one is of such stupid views.There are people who are wishing they had a daughter.I know of a couple who have one son I insist they will have another child only if they can be gaurnteed a daughter.
In any case,you have written a poem which is very touching.

anupama said...

dear aparna,
thanks a lot for your visit to my site.aparna,you have written the verses well and the message is communicated well.
you know,what?i didn't know when i staretd writing poems and iam more comfortable with posts in poems!
go ahead!as you know the lady who is the blessed mother of three girls,she is lucky.please try to instil confidence in her and i am sure the positive attitude will bring the smile back!
MY GOD!some one tell the world,daughters are the MAHALAKSHMIS of the house!and we love them soooooooooo much!
do visit my blog as n when u get time!

G S Pillai said...

Thanks for dropping by.

I went through your posts and liked them very much, I sure will be back again, and hope u'll visit me too.

I see great similarity b/w our styles of writing, even the blog layout is kind of same.


swatantra said...

Hi Aparna

I must say this is the best post i have read from you, till the time just bear with me, and hold me while i weep are the lines which i read again and again.

This is a very sensitive issue in INDIA, i could never understand that a Mom in law who wants son, how can she forgets that she herself is a woman.

The way you have expressed the feeling, i will be short of words to delight.

I have read your first poem also, You have improved a lot on this one. Keep up your cute way of writing poem.

Sumandebray said...

A great attempt...
This is truly a great tribute to the girl child of your friend.
This is one injustice that is being done to the girl where women supports their men folks... it is so sad and deplorable!

Ramakrishnan said...

Hi Aparna
Thats a great attempt.You are extremely creative whether prose or poetry ! Keep it up.


Archana said...

Beautiful Aparna...what you've conveyed is so true and unfortunately still happens in the so called 'educated' families...very sad...and please dont call it pathetic, its really beautiful and touching!

Anonymous said...

Its not at all pathetic. Infact, I loved it.
What is pathetic is the stereotypic thought of Indian households that a daughter is worthless. Sad, that a woman cried after being birth to another about-to-be-a-woman. If women don't defend themselves and their creed, then all these notions will stay forever. People should understand that if a woman is not there, then a man is not born. Neither so men have uterus to keep the baby, nor do they have patience to hold something in them for 9 long months.

Nupur said...

It's not a futile attempt I must say ! Your write well-poem and the post :)

sm said...

nice poem

Ire said...

How can you trash this? It is touching! My parents have me and my sister. They never regretted not having a son.

Hope people realize soon that a child is a child, irrespective of a boy or a girl.

Sharmila said...

You call this pathetic?!Why?! Well written. I feel for the woman ... what anguish she must have had to go through that made her cry ... she knew what was in store for both herself and her daughter.

Sharmila said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
के सी said...

अपर्णा जी,
पहले तो कविता की शास्त्रीय समझ ना होने बाद भी ये कहूँगा की मुझे पसंद आई है वैसे पसंद तो आपकी लिखी हर एक पंक्ति है मुझे इसीलिए जब से आपके ब्लॉग का पता मिला है मैंने हर पोस्ट को पहले पाठक के रूप में पढ़ने के प्रयास किया हैं. दसवीं कक्षा तक आते आते अंग्रेजी भाषा से डरता रहा फिर इसी डर से मुहब्बत ना हुई. अब सोचता हूँ कि इसके बिना काम कैसे चलेगा तो पैंतीस की उम्र में हौसला जाता रहा. कुछ बुरी सी आदतें समय को खा जाती है तो सीखने का इरादा ठण्ड पी जाता है . एक बेहजाद लखनवी साहब का शेर भी है "हर रोज इरादे बांधता हूँ हर हाल मैं उनसे कह दूंगा, कमबख्त ज़ुबां खुलती ही नहीं जब सामने कातिल आ जाये" तो मैं अंग्रेजी से मुहब्बत का इजहार अभी तक नहीं कर पाया हूँ. अर्थ का अनर्थ न हो जाये अतः अपनी ही भाषा से काम चला रहा हूँ.
आप बहुत सुन्दर लिखती हैं विदेश यात्रा के दौरान आपकी लिखी पोस्ट ने मुझे बहुत प्रभावित किया था उनमे बेहतरीन विवरण था सुन्दर चित्र थे शब्द दिल से निकले थे और लगता था कि आप हम पढ़ने वालों के लिए ही वहां गयी हैं. अंग्रेजी के कुछ ब्लॉग देखता हूँ जिनमे आपका सुजाता जी का और कविता जी ब्लॉग मुझे अपना सा लगता है. मैं आपको कमेन्ट नहीं लिखता था कि आप उसे पढ़ने में कष्ट ही पाएँगी. इन दिनों कुछ कहानियों पर काम कर रहा हूँ वे ब्लॉग के लिए बहुत लम्बी हैं पर कभी कहीं उनको जगह मिली तो आपको जरूर बताऊंगा, आपके शब्दों ने मुझे उर्जा दी है, क्या आपका आभार जताने की जरूरत है ?

Aparna said...

@ Sandhya, girls can also provide for their parents, They are equally capable and dependable. People just need to change the mindset.

@ BK Chowla, thank you. The world needs more people like the couple you have mentioned.

@ Anupama, thank you so much for visiting my blog and appreciating my posts. I will surely keep visiting yours.

@ Bluebird, yes I did notice the similarities. Please visit again. Thanks.

@ Swatantra, thank you so much, your words meant a lot.

@ Suman, deplorable indeed. The girls have so much love to give. People just dont understand.

@ Ram, thank you so much.

@ Arch, most families in India still place a high value on boy babies, and yes, even educated ones. As Suman said, very deplorable. Thank you for appreciating my poem.

@ Ramya, what you said is so true. Men simply dont have the patience to nurture a life within for 9 months. And the physical discomforts are no joke. Still we do not value our women.

@ Screenage scribbler, thank you very much.

@ sm, thanks.

@ Nikki, thank you very much. Wish India had more parents like yours.

@ Sharmila, thank you.

@ Kishore, thank you so much. Language is for communication. Even if you comment in Hindi. I look forward to them. My hindi is atrocious...though I can read it very well. The grammar confuses me and hence I do not attempt to write in that language. Please never hesitate to say any thing, good or bad. Mujhe bahut hi achcha lagega.

sayrem said...

this is us.

pradipwritenow said...

Your friend cares much for other's reactions. Childern are all the same whether a son or a daughter. This is a nice poem.

Jeevan said...

I think she cries in thought of society and not being given birth to girl child. I see there’re still minds think about accepting girl child, but tough it exists and people have learn to accept destiny leaving only few. This was a beautiful poem with a sense and message. keep going :)

Sucharita Sarkar said...

This was a lovely poem! And as a mother-of-two, I have had my (un)fair share of pitying comments about my son-less-ness, and I usually respond with tartness and anger, not such lovely poetry!

Rachna said...

Life is so unfair. I prayed and prayed for a daughter and have two sons. I know I will always miss a daughter's love in my life. Lucky you to be having two of your own!

Nice attempt at poem writing, btw :)

pradipwritenow said...

A trek to unknown episode3 is published just now. Somoy pele porte paren. lasttime apnar comment pare khub utsaho peyechhi.

Gayathri said...

oye,has the word 'pathetic' been redefined?? was nice dear..and the subject has been something which not many has chosen to speak of..really sad that the woman,who i suppose is our contemporary cried for such a thing..

nsiyer said...

Too touching and straight on the face. I am touched the way you have pointed the existential reality. Great. I will keep coming. Don't be so modest and humble.

ZB said...

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and your blog is worth $434,176( close to 2 crore rupees).Mine is zilch and sujata's blog is worth some $200. So you are a millionaire lady.:))

check this out

R. Ramesh said...

hey good friend..thanks a tonne for sharing yr views..cheers..

ZB said...

hey, you cant do much about it, but to sit and feel proud of yourself and ur blog. Its the value of ur blog, when you sell it. And to sell it obviously you should get a buyer. Who would buy a blog, when anyone can start it for free?BTW Shobaa de's blog is only worth $ 3000, you beat them all, and by a mammoth margin.... :)))

Anonymous said...

Lovely poem.

When I saw my daughter soon after my delivery, I was thinking, she will have to go through this same pain, at some point in time.;-)

I always wanted to have two daughters.Its a dream that I used to share with my closest friends back when I was in college. Maybe it rooted from the fact that I am the THIRD daughter(no bros). And also from the fact that my mom was the THIRD daughter(no bros).

Amal Bose said...

hi Aparna,
that was a wonderful attempt.. and i think the grandparents need some advice and also the mother.. she needs to take care of her daughter instead of dealing with the grandparents.. let them go to where ever they belong.. having a daughter is nothing to be ashamed or sad abt. let them undertand it.

zephyr said...


wanderlust said...

very poignant and thoughtful.
you really have a way with words.

Neha said...

take a bow aparna...u know, this is a major issue in my family as well...though my ma in law doesnt voice it out, but her deepest desire is a grandson and not a grand-daughter. we all ve tried to change tht a lot, but in vein...i will surely make her read this post...thanks a lot for sharing...i v also written couple of poems on my 1st attemps as well...they r not as beautiful as urs though...u will find them at:

Aparna said...

Thank you @ Sayrem for writing in.

@ Pradipda, thank you. Your serial is fantastic.

@Jeevan, your blog has been a real inspiration.

@Sucharita, our daughters rock. We certainly dont need any son.

@ Rachna,you will gain 2 daughters when your sons marry. Thank you.

@Gayatri, the woman is an acquaintance and not really a friend. I did not really know her well enough to say anything to her.

@ nsiyer, thank you so much.

@ Jyothi, thank you so much. You have perfect family, a daughter and a son. Stay happy always.

@ Amal Bose, unfortunately I dont know the family too well and I could not say anything to them. You are right, the mother needs to change her mind set.

@ Zephyr, thank you.

@ Wanderlust, thanks.

@ Neha, welcome to my blog. Hope your mother in law understands one day.

Niti said...

loved it.

Anonymous said...


I had touched on this subject but very subtly in a post called "Shweetu". I can never understand the obsession with children of a particular sex....

Balachandran V said...

Aparna, sorry for being a late visitor, but I was so moved by your poem. Its a beautiful one, don't blush! Try to write more poems, because one has compress larger issues into a few lines and it really flexes your literary muscles!

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

And here I weep because I don't have a daughter.

Lovely poem, absolutely lovely!

workhard said...

This is definitely not a pathetic attempt..ITs awesome and has a very strong message..

I couldnt even write a Haiku

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